Prison Ramen Stir Fry (Hook-Up Style)

A “hook-up” in prison kitchen slang means putting together a meal with whatever ingredients you can get. This ramen stir fry is one of the more sophisticated commissary meals — it goes beyond the basic spread by actually cooking the ingredients together rather than just soaking them in a bag. When inmates have access to a hot pot or a stinger (a makeshift heating element), this is what they make.

The noodles get cooked until just barely soft, then mixed with soy sauce, squeeze cheese for creaminess, crunchy vegetables (whatever’s available), and sliced meat. It’s faster than any takeout, costs almost nothing, and tastes way better than it has any right to. This version uses a real stove, but the spirit is the same — fast, cheap, and full of flavor.

Sarah Mitchell

Prison Ramen Stir Fry (Hook-Up Style)

A "hook-up" in prison kitchen slang means putting together a meal with whatever ingredients you can get. This ramen stir fry is one of the more sophisticated commissary meals — it goes beyond the basic spread by actually cooking the ingredients together rather than just soaking them in a bag.

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Prep Time 10 minutes mins

Cook Time 10 minutes mins

Total Time 20 minutes mins

Servings: 2 servings

Course: Dinner

Cuisine: Asian

Calories: 490

Ingredients Method Notes

Ingredients

  

• 3 packages instant ramen noodles (oriental or soy sauce flavor)
• 2 tablespoons soy sauce
• 1 tablespoon hot sauce (sriracha works great)
• 1 teaspoon sesame oil (optional)
• 2 summer sausage sticks (3 oz each), sliced into rounds
• 1 small bag pork rinds, crushed into pieces
• 2 tablespoons squeezable cheese
• 1 pickle, sliced thin
• 1 small bag corn chips, lightly crushed
• 1 packet ramen seasoning
• Hot water

Method

 

1. Boil water and cook the ramen noodles for only 2 minutes — you want them firm, not mushy. Drain most of the water, leaving about 2 tablespoons.
2. Add one seasoning packet, soy sauce, hot sauce, and sesame oil to the noodles. Toss to coat.
3. Slice the summer sausage into thin rounds and add to the noodles.
4. Mix in the squeeze cheese while the noodles are still hot so it melts and coats everything.
5. Add the crushed pork rinds and toss — they'll absorb some sauce and add a meaty crunch.
6. Add the sliced pickle and toss lightly.
7. Serve on a plate and top with lightly crushed corn chips for crunch.
8. Hit it with extra hot sauce if you want more heat. Eat immediately.

Notes

The trick is draining most of the water — you want just enough liquid for the sauce to coat the noodles, not a soup. Pork rinds are the underrated MVP here — they add protein and a crunchy texture that's like croutons in a salad. If you can find the Maruchan Yakisoba instant noodles, those work even better since they're designed to be drained and sauced.