Jailhouse Pizza Spread

Pizza is one of those foods everyone misses in prison, so naturally, inmates found a way to make it with commissary items. The base is made from crushed crackers or tortillas, the sauce comes from ketchup packets mixed with Italian seasoning, and the toppings are whatever meat and cheese you can get. It doesn’t look like a Domino’s pizza, but the flavors hit the same craving.

This jailhouse pizza spread takes the concept and makes it easy to recreate at home. You layer a tortilla or flatbread with the commissary-style sauce, pile on the toppings, and fold or roll it up. Some people make it as a flat pizza, others roll it into a calzone-style wrap. Either way, you get that satisfying combination of carbs, cheese, meat, and tangy tomato that makes pizza the most craved food on the planet.

Sarah Mitchell

Jailhouse Pizza Spread

Pizza is one of those foods everyone misses in prison, so naturally, inmates found a way to make it with commissary items. The base is made from crushed crackers or tortillas, the sauce comes from ketchup packets mixed with Italian seasoning, and the toppings are whatever meat and cheese you can get.

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Prep Time 15 minutes mins

Cook Time 15 minutes mins

Total Time 30 minutes mins

Servings: 2 servings

Course: Dinner

Cuisine: Italian

Calories: 560

Ingredients Method Notes

Ingredients

  

• 2 large flour tortillas (or 1 sleeve saltine crackers, crushed)
• 4 tablespoons ketchup
• 1 teaspoon Italian seasoning
• 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1/2 teaspoon onion powder
• 1 summer sausage stick (3 oz), sliced into thin rounds
• 1 pepperoni stick (3 oz), sliced thin
• 4 tablespoons squeezable cheese (mozzarella-style preferred)
• 1 small bag Doritos (any flavor), crushed
• Red pepper flakes to taste
• 1 tablespoon pickled jalapeños (optional)

Method

 

1. Make the pizza sauce: mix ketchup, Italian seasoning, garlic powder, and onion powder in a small bowl until combined.
2. Lay the flour tortillas flat. If using crackers instead, crush them and mix with a tiny bit of water to form a flat base on foil.
3. Spread the ketchup sauce evenly over each tortilla.
4. Layer the sliced summer sausage and pepperoni over the sauce.
5. Squeeze cheese generously over the meat toppings.
6. Sprinkle crushed Doritos over the top for crunch.
7. Add red pepper flakes and jalapeños if you like heat.
8. Fold the tortilla in half like a quesadilla or roll it up tight like a calzone.
9. Microwave for 30-45 seconds until the cheese melts and the tortilla is warm and pliable.
10. Slice and serve immediately. The cheese sets fast, so eat it hot.

Notes

The key to the sauce is mixing the ketchup with Italian seasoning — it tastes way more like pizza sauce than you'd expect. For a crispier base, toast the tortilla in a dry pan before adding toppings. If you can find individual packets of marinara sauce (like from a pizza place), those work even better than ketchup. Stack two tortillas for a thicker, more pizza-like base.